Before I became a hockey player, I was a hockey fan. I completely understand that. It’s hard not to see any free agency decision as a betrayal. But all I would ask is that people listen to me, as a human being. Last week I kept thinking about the conversation I had with my parents towards the end of my freshman year at Boston College. I had the option to stay in BC and become a free agent and sign with any NHL team next year or report to the Flames. But all I wanted was to be a Calgary Flame. I felt like I owed it to the organization that took a chance on a five-six, 130-pound forward from the USHL. I wanted to show them that I could be the player they thought I could be. When I was drafted in 2011, I honestly couldn’t point to Calgary on a map. I knew about Iggy and the red shirts and that was it really. But I quickly learned what it meant to play for this city. I couldn’t believe the comments of people asking me to sign and become an instant flame. “Giannakis!! Please sign.” “Will you play for us next year?” “Have you signed yet???” And when I went up to Calgary for development camps, I saw how deeply connected people were to their hockey team. Even just for games made up of prospects, we would have so many fans at the rink. This city is awesome, I thought to myself. This is a hockey town. From those early days, I understood: hockey in Calgary is just different. It’s a special place with wonderful people. For almost my entire life, I have been obsessed with the game of hockey and getting better at it. I work my tail off every summer to come back better than before. I’ve always believed that hard work can get you anywhere in this sport. But as much as I love hockey…family is everything to me. It is the most important connection I have. And a few years ago, I think I started to realize how much you sacrifice when you give 100% to your career. I felt like I needed to do more to focus my family in my life after we went through some tough times. My dad’s heart attack in 2018 was a big moment for that. It was really that bad and he is lucky to be here today. A very scary situation. And seeing him in that hospital bed… it hit me extremely hard. I thought about how little I had seen my parents since I was in the league. These moments and experiences change you as a person. Another big moment for me was when I met Meredith. After my dad’s heart attack, I bought a vacation home in hopes that my family could spend time together and have a place for my dad to relax more after we almost lost him forever. And that’s how we met… Meredith was my next door neighbor. She was an ICU nurse at the time. I was so blown away by the work he did. And during our relationship, I learned a lot from her about how to balance those two things: a passion for your work with a passion for the people in your life. I have learned a lot about the person I want to become. Who is a good son, a good husband and (soon!) a good father. And, ultimately, trying to find that balance is what this decision came down to. Before I became a hockey player, I was a hockey fan. I completely understand that. It’s hard not to see any free agency decision as a betrayal. – Johnny Gaudreau As much as we both love Calgary, I think Meredith and I felt it would be too hard to continue living as far away from our families as we have been – especially as we start a family of our own. It’s the hardest decision we’ve ever had to make. I want to clear up a few things I’ve heard over the last week. I’ve heard people say that I was using Calgary for leverage and that I “always knew” I was leaving. I’ve heard people say that with the kind of money I make and how easy it is to get on a plane, location shouldn’t be a problem. And while I wouldn’t normally give such things away at the time of day, I feel like I owe it to Flames fans to be honest. For what it’s worth, I didn’t know for sure what I wanted to do until the last few hours of the last day. Man, even after I turned down the eight-year deal from Calgary, I was still thinking about coming back and trying to work on a seven-year deal to stay. Everything was on the table for the entire process. Maybe this seems messy… but life is messy, you know? And as for “jumping on a plane” and all that — I’m incredibly grateful to be an NHL player and to make the salary that I do. I don’t take that for granted for a second. Which contributes to why money wasn’t the main deciding factor for me. But the idea that Meredith and I can just fly back and forth home or visit our loved ones is out of the question because we have money? It’s not that simple. Our families still work full time. Our brothers have their own lives. Our nieces go to school. It’s a difficult journey for people to make, and it’s become more difficult with the pandemic. And it is difficult for us to get out of the East as well. It’s things like missing your grandpa’s funeral or having very sick relatives that make the distance so painful — and you remember that feeling when you’re planning your future for your family. I know these answers aren’t going to please everyone, just as I know they didn’t like my decision. But all I can do here is tell the truth. And this is the truth, I promise: I love my time in Calgary. For a long time, Meredith and I saw our future there. We wanted to re-sign last summer. We were looking for houses to raise a family. But it just didn’t work out and we thought this summer might be different. But that doesn’t change the way I feel right now. I am so proud to have been on this team and to represent this city. And these past few weeks… I cringe every time I think about it. All the relationships we’ve built here, all the amazing friendships we have — I felt them in my chest every time I thought about leaving. And it’s weird, you know, I was thinking about what it’s going to be like when I come back next season. I know there will probably be boos… but as weird as it sounds, I’m really excited to be back and playing in front of some really passionate fans. That’s why I loved this city and the people. They love their team. I have so much love for my time as a Flame. No amount of downvotes or angry messages are ever going to change that for me. One day, Meredith and I hope to bring our family back to Calgary to show them all of our favorite spots and things to do like Banff and the Stampede, especially the Saddledome! I know that’s the kind of thing every player says to a fan base when they leave… but it’s like I said: My story is not every player’s story. It wasn’t every five-six, 130-pound USHLer when one of the NHL’s most storied franchises took a chance on him. I felt like the luckiest person in hockey when that happened, and I still do. I hope the people of Calgary remember me not only as a hockey player, but also as a good person with good values. Thank you for supporting me over the years and for making my family part of yours. I feel so grateful to have grown up in the Calgary Flames Organization. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. -Johnny
