The third televised debate was originally scheduled for Monday afternoon. Until someone realized this would conflict with the third round of voting. Although that might have livened up proceedings for the rest of us. Instead of hearing the same five candidates rehash their tired lines and animosity for the third time in four days, we could have had someone eliminated on live TV. Right risk. “You are the weakest link. Bye.” So the discussion has been moved to Tuesday just for Ready4Rish! and Liz Truss to retire within minutes of each other on Monday morning. Almost as if it had been coordinated by Tory HQ. God bless. Rish! apparently tired of making fun of how desperate Truss was – why was he so horrible to Liz in public, she’d asked. Because it’s easy and the robotic Truss was so useless. Prov. On many occasions her face was the computer’s spinning wheel of destruction – and she wasn’t to be involved again until the latter stages of the competition. Although if Liz made it to the bottom two, she’d happily start trash talking again. Truss was adamant that he would not be in any discussion unless all five of the Friday and Sunday lineups were included. Which probably suggests that he didn’t understand the format of the leadership contest. Someone explain this to her, please. Penny Mordaunt was happy to go ahead and blame the cancellation on Rish! and Tras cannot be kind to each other. Before she remembered this was not the preferred message of Tory HQ and she was contradicting herself. Rish! and Truss got along very well. That’s it! That was why the discussions were lost. Kemi Badenoch and Tom Tugendhat said nothing. Presumably because they had seen the numbers and realized they would be unlikely to take part on Tuesday. So the Tories ruled out yet another democratic plank in the interests of self-preservation. Meanwhile, in the Commons, Boris Johnson took time out from his Typhoon pilot fantasies to play the role of Prime Minister for the latest occasion. He is even likely to find an excuse to fly to Kyiv to say goodbye to Volodymyr Zelenskiy instead of appearing at PMQs on Wednesday. These days the Convict can choose what he likes. Apparently chairing the Cobra extreme temperature meetings was very boring. Especially when there were parties at Checkers. But if this was to be Johnson’s last stand, it was somehow fitting that it should be in a debate of no consequence. A prime minister who has degraded the office with lies and incompetence should end in the futility of a meaningless vote of no confidence. And with his own internal contradictions. Just because the Tory party had chosen to remove the Convict as its leader, it somehow did not follow that he was unfit to remain prime minister and run the government. Go figure. There were plenty of gaps in the Tory benches for Johnson’s last tail, though the ever-faithful Nadine Dorries and Jacob Rees-Mogg settled in close behind to keep the flame burning a little longer. Along with the empty Tras. Selling herself to the party as the candidate to succeed Boris while happily trashing his financial record in government. Then nothing makes sense in the modern Conservative party. We should not forget the cheers that greeted his arrival from the same MPs who had spent much of the last few weeks trying to get rid of him. Convict opened by saying he could not understand why Labor had tabled the confidence debate. The President had to gently point out to him that it was the government’s own initiative. Johnson brushed him off – details had never been his strong point, and that wasn’t going to change now – and proceeded to deliver what was, even by his own standards, one of his darkest speeches. Up there with Peppa Pig in his chaotic delusion. Almost like he was still hung over from the previous day’s Checkers party as he headed out on an extended air force transport of Biggles. Vain fantasies. Tilting at windmills like a latter-day Don Quixote. Only one completely without honor. Unaware that he was building his own monument to hubris, he spoke of his tenure as a series of ever-greater triumphs. A series of greatest hits reframed by narcissistic denial. Accomplishing much less than other governments he had proved his dynamism. He had gotten all the big calls right. Even in the face of final judgment, he could not tell the truth. There was nothing about food banks, inflation, energy prices, poverty or the collapse of public services. All we had were past glories. His electoral success in 2019 and a Brexit that is still far from done. “I’m proud of my leadership,” he concluded. Really? The lies, the parties, the cover-ups? Keir Starmer tried to gently point out to Johnson that he was leaving in disgrace. Most of his ministers and countless supporters had refused to serve under him. He was just too corrupt. It wasn’t Labor that had forced him out, it was his own party. He had finally crossed the line among parliamentarians with a high threshold for goofing off. Instead of bragging, waiting for a card that’s so high and wild that he’ll never have to deal again, he should be apologizing. Not just to the Tories but to the country. But the convict was not listening. He sat sourly, arms folded in front of him as Nad yelled abuse at Starmer. She is also allergic to the truth. As soon as possible, Johnson fell to the exit. Let’s hope we never see his like again.
